Disclaimer: This article is direct and offensive to people unwilling to acknowledge the stereotypes in the world we live in. Instead of complaining about them we’re offering solutions. If you find a stigma we missed, we’ll attempt to find another player who breaks the mold… which of course is the goal in becoming more interesting and successful.
For some reason the topic is taboo here in the US. This is likely due to the College system where we learn about things such as the preference of “whitening up”, racial triangulation and the different mortgage rates given based on similar financial profiles (race adjusted). Of course all of these classes are taught by women or she-males who complain for a living.
So with that said, the bigger problem is all of these complainer majors (ethnic studies, sociology, insert ___ studies here) do not provide any solutions to improving your life. Instead, these “forward thinking” majors cause more anger between one another as people attempt to credit and discredit each other based on “privilege” or lack of “privilege”.
To all of these people… good luck… winners don’t have time for this because they are busy adapting to their environment.
With that said below is a no non-sense look at the stereotypes presented to each ethnicity and more importantly, below the diagram is what you can do about it.
If forced to choose the yellow cells highlight the first stereotype you should tackle.
The Basics:
White: As you’ve been taught in college you’re “privileged”… Unfortunately life does not give handouts and you’re going to be forced to deal with insecure lash-outs in college and beyond as people degrade many if not all of your accomplishments. Strong game or social competence would suggest that you agree with them on paper or in upfront confrontational situations, this involves a high amount of control to be told over and over “you achieved this because of XYZ privilege”. It would be wise to re-frame situations at all times when confronted with a positive attitude, don’t worry the amount of BS you’ll receive from women remains. Finally, don’t forget that you would benefit from dance skills, the last thing you want to be is the “stiff white guy” in a club.
Black: Here you’re looking at a couple of positive and negative contributions, one being that you’ll have a positive sex stigma (“large dick” stereotype) which is offset by a negative money stigma (poor and dangerous). In this case you can benefit dramatically by increasing the amount of money/safety you exude. In fact one of our writers wears fake glasses and dresses in a high end suit to be perceived as more intelligent at the office and in meetings. It works. Assuming you’ve obtained an Americanized accent you’re going to avoid slipping into the foreign camp so you should use this to your benefit in the corporate ladder game.
Middle Eastern: This is a relatively neutral category excluding the un-American piece so your focus here will reside in continued increase in game, money and working on your tone of voice to prevent yourself from being seen as a foreigner. Additionally, Asian/Middle Eastern men tend to have smaller frames than most so you’ll benefit much more from the weight room than your counterparts. It may take years to increase and develop but you can see substantial gains over time.
Latin: This is another blurry category as there are stereotypes surrounding a sex-symbol Latin guy combined with the immigration issue in the US. So if you want the most bang for your buck, you’re going to increase income, neutralize your voice and learn to dance quickly. You’re neutralizing your immigration standpoint by having a career and then focus intensely on giving off the sex-symbol Latin guy vibe which is best done with dancing abilities.
Asian/Indian: In this category you’re looking to quickly neutralize the insecure portion, accent and cheap issues that you’re being stereotyped with (“small dick” stereotype as well). The first and most important aspect is to destroy your insecurity stereotype by using self depreciating humor with a sly grin. Most people in this category (another generalization) will turn to anger, which will not work as it will be misinterpreted as insecure. You can use that when you’re in a short-term relationship. The next skill you’ll learn is to neutralize your foreign stigma by working on your tone of voice to slowly blend into the crowd.
Notable Takeaways: Eventually, when you’re in this long-term, you’ll naturally neutralize all the negative stereotypes and will not need to use specific types of humor etc. for most however, the above is a good starting point. For a smart reader, your goal is to capitalize on the positive stereotypes and neutralize your negative ones, relative to your environment. We encourage maxing out your looks… with that said you can read between the lines and realize a “light/weak” stereotype is going to benefit more from an attractive body (sexual) while a “poor” stereotype will benefit from an increase in well fitted threads (well off).
Focusing on Work: As always, the basics of work apply across the board which leads us to the following statement “perception is reality”. With that in mind you’re going to slightly adjust your work focus onto your negative work stigmas to create a better perception. In short we encourage the following.
• White: Show up earlier than most
• Black: Dress much sharper than most
• Middle Eastern: Show up earlier than most, focus on relationships
• Latin: Dress sharper than most and show up earlier
• Asian/Indian: Zero in on salesmanship and co-worker relationships, “socially adapted”
Focusing on Venues: It gets much more difficult here as your city, vibe, venues to choose from and income will determine many of your decisions. However, when you choose venues you’re going to focus in on the positive stereotypes you can exude relative to the venue. Here are the basics.
• High-end: Full suit for everyone, no excuses (if you are in your low to mid 20′s don’t bother)
• Dance Venue: Fitted t-shirts leaving the slacks at home
• Hipster Dive Bars: Fitted clothing, leaving both slacks and collars at home
• Yoga Sessions: Hot yoga, you’re in shape, an excuse to take off your shirt
• Grocery Stores: Whole foods only, in gym gear or dressed to impress
As noted here it is based on ethnicity.
• High-end: (Everyone with money)
• Dance Venue: (Everyone who can dance)
• Hipster Dive Bars: (Everyone who can give a welcoming vibe)
• Yoga Sessions: (Everyone who is in shape)
• Grocery Stores: (Everyone who is in shape and dresses sharp)
Whoops, guess you realized that every venue is open because you’re already tailoring your life to each venue. Don’t get us wrong, you’re likely better off starting in a dance venue/yoga studio compared to a high end club, but don’t be fooled into thinking you can’t pull from any of these venues. Again, take a step back and quickly ask yourself “which negative or positive stereotypes are being amplified in this environment?”, adapt and pull.
Conclusion: While there are certainly places where your style won’t be accepted, this is the case for every single ethnicity on earth, so it’s time to stop making excuses and find a spot where you can be the man of the hour. The time you spend complaining about how it is tough for XYZ ethnicity to win at life is wasted time. You may as well get into a little ball and cry in the corner of your room with a Kleenex in your hand. Instead, acknowledge the stereotypes and break them down one by one over time, suddenly you’re one of the guys who doesn’t fit into the mold anymore… you’re now part of the solution. Or you can go back to watching TV, hating on specific groups and contributing to the problem by providing zero solutions for every man out there. It’s up to you.
PS: For you Wall Street guys, or people looking to break in… We don’t care one bit about diversity, so don’t bring that up during the interview process. The only thing we care about is direct results, hopefully you’re seeing a trend here. (Unfortunately we actually read all those ethnic studies books, disgusting waste of time)
Good article, very informative. I’m a mix of white and mid-east. I get hit with that white privilege shit occasionally on campus, I need to stop engaging them when they say it. And my body type is “light”, so I also need to step up efforts in the gym.
Just a quick note:
The word Latin refers to countries such as France and Spain.
Latino or Hispanic is more applicable to people from central and south America.
It is best to ignore them, you’re going to get these comments until you’re about 4 years out of college when people realize those majors don’t make you any money and they are forced to give up and get real jobs. This is across the board… So get a good job ASAP.
Yeah just using Latin for slang, should have used Latino.
Do American chicks like the accents of white guys from the other anglophone countries? (More specifically South Africa)
You will be fine.
We have a bigger obsession with Western Europe and Australia, but it should not act as anything you should practice “getting rid of”.
We’ll warn you though, come here for the $$ if that’s why you want to visit.
Would you recommend going to college in the US or in Europe?
Both would be fine, assume you’re going to try and get a good job, in that case simply choose the best university you can possibly get into. Major in something tangible and avoid all debt of possible.
The dynamics for Asian guys and Indian guys are completely different. Asian guys have the shy, weak and small dicked stereotype, while Indian/Desi guys aren’t seen as shy at all but girls hate the FOB culture.
Asian guys were more masculine and outgoing they wouldn’t have any problems except for the small dick thing.
Depending on the individual Indian guys need to either culturally “whitewash” themselves or get some black guy swag, which a lot don’t do because they’re culturally very insular, but it happens a lot more in the 2nd generation.
Asian guys problems get worse in the 2nd gen because a lot of Western born Asian girls hate their own men and (at least where I am) date a lot of White and Indian guys instead.
Great read and so true, as a black guy I know my weakness. My wardrobe is unbeatable, I just need to make more money to match it.
Should I invest in a Rolex? What watches do wallstreet playboys sport?
I have read your blog for a while now and I am in college. You can tell by the name that I am a Latino but I have the stereotypical features of one. Thick straight black hair, brown eyes, and olive skin. I most closely resemble actor Jay Hernandez based on facial features.
My dad is an engineer and my mom is a nurse, came from a well off family and grew up well off. So grateful to have my college paid for.
Now I always do my best to look my best, getting the finest haircut, eating right, lifting, and working out. The one thing I have noticed though is that when it comes down to judging a man based on looks, almost all girls of all races swing for the White guy. I am in North Carolina right now and go to Chapel Hill and the standard here is the WASPy looking Fraternity guy.
As time is going on looks are starting to matter more than they did before, women can provide for themselves since they have access to jobs so all us men have is status, looks, and of course game.
Here is where the story just becomes confusing.
When I put my picture up on a beauty forum to get suggestions on looking better, the first 2 pages said that I was handsome and I had 4 girls message me asking me personal questions (no e-brag). I have had family members, relatives, and even some male friends tell me I am handsome.
Yet when it comes down to what girls think, I always feel like my White friends who are tall (I am 6″1 myself) always get the nod from all races, even some Latinas. I feel like no matter what I do, I can’t compete with them in the looks game.
To back up my statement, I see in male models and actors too, most of them are White males.
So far I have been thinking maybe I fix up my style more, lift even harder, and try to look less edgy but I want to know if it is pointless for me to compete with my White friends in the looks department since they always have the leg up.
I feel like I have to actually go and talk to the girl and run some game on her (and that works too) but my White friends just stand there and have the girls try to escalate with them.
Some people like my black and asian friends have said its because the guys are White and the girls are fed into loving them. Others have said it is because I am in North Carolina where they don’t perceive outsiders as being too attractive. People online have said it is because I don’t come off as confident enough but I do feel like I can talk to people better and I have no foreign accent.
What I want to know, what is going on here?
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Wow, this was a while back but I really wanted to comment. Just read the post a couple days ago after having too much time on my hands and coming across it. Primarily use this blog for quality financial advice and life advice but this is a post I truly believe I can contribute some value too. Kinda sad you guys don’t write game related posts anymore……
You guys left out one major thing in ALL of this, location location location location and location. I know you guys are located in NYC and primarily have experience in NYC when you wrote this post, the rest of the country IS different.
I am talking about location in the USA and its different states and regions. I am Indian, 6’2, and get told I look like Ravi from iZombie a lot (never watched the show myself though).
I strongly believe from personal experience that Asian and especially Indian guys are going to struggle a lot with women, especially top tier white girls, in places like NYC, LA, and other major world class cities. Women in these areas are very big on status, how they are perceived, well aware of stereotypes, and generally want to go for the kinds of guys that they can show off to their friends (eg: One of Donald Trump’s sons or Chris Hemsworth). Now granted, I think that a top tier Asian or brown guys can do well if they stick to their own race or go for girls of other minority groups but if their aim is to get white girls (which mines was and the same is true for many other brown guys I know), they’re in for a straight uphill battle.
A lot of women in NYC seemed to have this sort of stigma or almost disgust come to their face when the idea of getting with an Indian guy was brought up. Had it not been for European transplants to the city, I would have never gotten laid in NYC.
You are more or less expected to know that as an Asian or Indian guy, your value is low. The hot girls and others in their social circles are going to make race jokes and let you know openly that your race isn’t exactly helping you. Maybe you can get hot girls of your own race or other minority groups but I truly think that getting top tier white girls in NYC while being Indian is borderline impossible, again, your experiences may vary.
On the other hand, when I moved more so away from the very shallow coastal areas of the country, I noticed that the quality of girls I was pulling went WAY up even when money was not involved.
In NYC, if I approached a hot blonde at a bar I would almost always get the head turns and rejections. Note, this is night game where you are mainly bargaining with looks and social skills. Daygame was more or less the same, could not get a word out without the girl ignoring me. I also openly heard people say comments such as “come on Patel, those kinds of girls are way out of you peoples’ league”.
Then when I lived in Arizona, I was surprised, the girls there were hot and surprisingly very receptive to me. In 6 months I ended up sleeping with 8 different girls, all white, above a 7 on the looks scale, and even a couple of hot blondes.
After Arizona, I moved to Florida and once again, shocked at how much easier it was for me.
I would get approached at bars by reasonably good looking girls and had a ton of success in Tampa and Miami too. Staying in Florida for a year, I ended up getting with 12 different women purely through daygame and night game. All of the women were good looking, white (a couple of white latinas), and above a 7 on the looks scale. Almost all of this was through the women not even knowing me before I approached them and I don’t even flash my wealth so I was using purely game and looks to get by.
In NYC it was Indian = worst possible stereotypes for Indians (sleazy, dirty, pervy, foreign in a bad way, etc.).
In Arizona and Florida (where I will argue the women are hotter but the economic opportunities not nearly as good) it was Indian = exotic and different in a good way, despite the bad press Arizona gets.
Common wisdom will say if you’re a minority, go game in the “multicultural” areas but you guys DO believe in doing the opposite so you can see what I am saying makes sense.
I say, if you’re brown or Asian, stay in a place like NYC or San Francisco to make the big bucks in your career but then venture out to other areas of the USA. A brown or Asian dude can most definitely get some very attractive women in Arizona and Florida and the women in those places are no joke.