7:45am: Alarm clock does off. (Snooze)
7:50am: Alarm clock goes off again (Snooze)
7:55am: Alarm clock goes off again, hits snooze button and finally gets up out of bed to change. 8:00 hits and the alarm clock goes off again because he keeps his clock next to his bed so he doesn’t have to stand up to get to the desk.
8:20am: Just got out of the shower and is now running **10 minutes late** see above.
8:30am: Gets into his car. “Oh my god I can’t believe this traffic I don’t think i’ll be able to make it to Starbucks!”
8:55am: “Well I’ve got about 5 minutes i know the Barrista I have been trying to hit on for the last five years knows my drink I should be okay.” Gets his drink, pays $4 and heads to work.
9:03am: Arrives at work. The three minute delta is no big deal because no one cares about his work anyway.
9:05am – 10:15am: Reads a bunch of important news articles on “Yahoo” and “Shine” about dating and lifting weights. Ignores the fact that the articles are written by overweight 40 year old women.
10:15am: “All corporations are gross so I better check my paystub to make sure I am still getting paid!”. Logs into overdrawn checking account. “Yep still making $10 an hour”
11:00am: It’s getting close to lunch. “Hmm that girl over 7 cubes is really cute, I haven’t talked to her in person for the last two years but its probably makes sense to ask her out to lunch out of the blue”. Messages girl 7 cubes over through internal message system. Her response “Hey sorry I don’t think so i have other plans”.
11:30am: It’s lunch break time. No time to pack lunch because he was **wayyyyy** too busy this morning. Goes out to Chipotle to buy lunch where for some reason CNN is playing in the background. It’s about Wall Street. “Oh my god those dirty corporate bankers are taking all of my money with no work ethic whatsoever, I could ‘EASILY’ do their job any day of the week.”
11:45am: Sits down to eat his Chicken burrito (may as well save 50 cents right?), he eats lunch with his *friends*. Over the next 45 minutes they refresh their Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Pinterest accounts 75 times checking out that “cute girl” from when they were back in high school. Living in the past.
12:30pm: Arrives back at his desk. Goes onto Doostang, Indeed and other job search boards realizing he has similar qualifications for multiple jobs that pay $10K higher on an annual basis. Does not send in resume. Begins doing work for the first time in the day.
1:30pm: Gets email from admins in the office. “Company Happy Hour Today!”. Jumps for joy! “Oh man i can’t wait I love happy hour we get drinks for like $2 and maybe that cute girl i just messaged will tell me she likes me!!!!!! Continues to do some minimal work.
3:00pm: Does minimal work. Reads a few fitness articles on “cross fit”. Doesn’t realize all of the people on cross fit look awful and the program is tailored for women. Also realizes he signed up for the gym but has not gone for the last three years and likely looks like exhibit 3.
5:00pm: Well at least he got some work done between 12:30 and 5:00pm. It’s time for happy hour! I can’t go to the gym today because maybe that girls likes me!
5:30pm: Arrives at happy hour. Cute girl does not show up. The ball game is on, March Madness. “Oh my god man i can’t believe people think XYZ team is going to win, that’s not possible, Number 33 averages 26.72364617176525 points per game and 6.28363345 rebounds. No way the other team wins man, I bet you, I bet you whatever you want man.” His boss turns to him and says okay I’ll bet you $10. “Nah man I don’t bet money on stuff man, lets just make it a friendly bet.” Boss looks at him, squints “sure”.
8:00pm: **His** team lost. Of course he has never played a sport before in his life. Now the conversation is turning *philosophical* “Man yeah, i can’t believe those sports players get paid so much its dumb they shouldn’t be paid more than doctors they should be paid much less”. His friend slightly nods his head, his boss already left the building. A man in a suit is standing behind them and asks “If he’s overpaid why do people pay so much to watch the games?”. Neither of them have an answer.
9:00pm: On his way home he remembers that there were over 20 attractive women at the bar who he did not speak to. Man that guy in the suit was a real jerk. He was probably some uptight Wall Street guy I’m going to **fight him** the next time something like that happens.
10:00pm: Finally goes to bed with an extensive hangover and a slightly lighter bank account. “Man I wish i had time… I wish I had time“.
OMG! I hate it when guys do that! It’s sooooo creepy!
One word. Rage.
Rage against all that tries to drag you down to “their” level.
Sports?! Please.
I hate when dudes with that lifestyle hit on me. No thanks!
Solid choice on including all the rationalizations he concocts. I still catch myself doing the same at times. Way too easy to delude yourself into a pit.
Dude, your blog is great.
Though I don’t really understand your sports hate that I have noticed in your blog, it definitely has it’s place. There are few things better for wooing a potential client than taking them to a game or taking them golfing (if they are a dude). I mean yeah if you waste a bunch of time reading espn or some stupid blog, but taking out your clients and buying them a few rounds while you bs about the game or march madness, it is helpful to know what you are talking about.
Also, chipotle is a great option if you are in a crunch, obviously with some restrictions. It is pretty much my go to pwo meal if I lift in the evening, regardless.
Sports hate wasn’t the intention. We encourage everyone to seriously engage in lifting or sports (notice the loser spends 0 hours in the gym, but is willing to watch 3 hours of a sports game).
The point is more that average guys memorize sports stats and a bunch of other BS that doesn’t help them get anywhere. If you’re bringing clients to sports events, no brainer and we agree.
We will agree to disagree on chipotle, should have made his own healthy food at home instead of hitting the snooze button.
As we’ve realized, unless you are the guy playing sports and getting paid tons for it, no girl at the bar will sleep with you based in your team preference. No girl worth in your bed. Sports are boring to talk about, attact ghetto bitches in jerseys, dudes with beer bellies…no thanks! If you watch sports, you prob sit on your couch and are not worth a flex fuck.
This post hit home.
It’s always easier to blame than it is to look in the mirror.
I think it’s funny because we think we’re so much better than ‘losers’ in life but in reality we’re not that much better.. i.e. I don’t send lame messages or make empty statements (the bet) but I definitely sleep longer than I should and I spend way too much time reading articles online.
I really enjoy this blog btw!
This was me at 21. It is the way people act when they don’t value themselves and have hope for their future. This person you described has fantasies about the future, not plans. I realized the future was coming and I braced myself. Hope other people that think like this will too. I should value my time more.
Word
Good stuff, one of my New Year’s resolutions was to cut off everyone who wakes up after 11 am on the weekend and guys who won’t approach girls. I’m down to three friends and loving it.
Every guy should print this out and frame it as a reminder of what not to to do.
Great post!
Holly shit this blog is dope.
Thank you. I just discovered your blog today, and this post reminds me of the seemingly small places where I’ve let myself go. The mirror is a harsh mistress, but above everyone else, she is the only honest one.
Every breath leads me one less to my last.
-W
This article is poorly written and off-the-mark.
Guys like you give finance the terrible reputation that it has.
If you took something here personal, ask yourself why?
Great point.
Key question not addressed – how did this dude get home? he had an extensive hangover…he must’ve drank a shit-ton…and then got back into the car he drove that morning, some 25 minutes home? Yeesh.
8 am : The alarm goes off. Because of the unhealthy lifestyle he has, he is tired. But the main reason why he hits snooze is that he has no goal. There is nothing for him out there.
10 minutes later : “shit, I don’t have the time to work out anymore”. Hit snooze.
At 9, he gets up. “Fuck, I had the time to work out finally”. He is not even panicking, he doesn’t give a fuck about being on time. Kitchen, breakfast : peanut butter eaten with the fingers (because washing a spoon is too hard). He prepares to leave but hey! Today is the meeting with the boss. So he takes a shower. He doesn’t bother to brush his teeth, to shave or to style his hair (he hadn’t had a haircut in 6 months anyway).
At 9:40 he steps outside the building. He wear dirty shoes, an old jean and a t shirt he didn’t iron. He felt like a boss though “Hey I don’t smell today!”. On the way to work, he pulls out his smartphone and begin registering his voice, faking a phone call. He has nobody to talk to so he record his voice all the time. He has a lot of conversations with himself stored into his phone.
10:10 am : he arrives to work, an hour and 10 minutes late. Since he works for free, he thinks his employer has no right to tell him what to do “hah! That’s real freedom”. “Hello” is the first word he says. With “good bye”, it will be the only words he says of all day. He gets on his computer, fake to work and browse reddit, watch useless videos on youtube and get mad about the people that are doing something with their time “I could be in that position too if I wanted to! It’s just too difficult, I don’t want to do it”.
12 am : no work done, not even minimal work. He goes out for lunch while all the employees have lunch together. They only take a 15 min break but he wants to take advantage of his full two hours break. He eats crappy food. He buys too much of it so he end up throwing half of it in the bin. He complains about how crappy the food is. He is fat. He hadn’t eaten a fruit in weeks because “it’s so expensive, I want to save my money, see? I know how money works : I S-A-V-E, I will be rich some day!”. He spots some cute women during his lunch break. He hadn’t had sex in years. Paralyzed by the same thing that makes all his life dull and meaningless, he does nothing. He will call them bitches because they didn’t throw themselves at him.
2:20 pm he gets back to work, 20min late. Nobody is here. The whole team is at a meeting and he doesn’t know where. Anyway. He logs onto youtube and watch the same videos he watched during the morning.
3 pm : his boss is back and asking for results. He makes up a crappy excuse. He hates his life, he hates his coworker who seems to be happy, he hates everything. Except himself. Those motivational talks he listens to tells him he is special. It’s not his fault, he is a victim.
4 pm : only one hour before leaving. Begin minimal work.
5:15 pm : yeah I stayed 15 min more, now they surely see how much of a hard worker I am. He sees the disgust in other people’s eyes as he says good bye. He thinks it’s unfair and rude. He doesn’t understsand that he doesn’t deserve any respect.
5:45 pm : he is back home. “I should work out” he says to himself. “Yeah but…I’m so tired…”. He lays down onto his bed and begin to fantasize about his ex girlfriend that broke up with him 3 years ago. Another item to add to his long list of traumas which are responsible for his shitty life. He begins to masturbate furiously. He knows he shouldn’t : he has been trying to stop for 5 years now. He watches so much porn that he has erectile dysfunction now (so why bother talking to girls?).
8 pm : masturbation session over, he feels exhausted. Feeling like crap, he goes buying a subway with the money his parents give him (he is 24 years old). He spend the rest of the night dwelling into feelings of despair, sadness, powerlessness and, in his heart of heart, he tells himself “one day I’m going to be a millionaire” before ordering another useless self help book he won’t read on amazon.